I have been asked about a peculiar situation: What do you do if you feel your yaya has a serious crush on your husband? Do you fire her despite the fact that she does her job well? Do you ignore it all together?
Although this is not a situation to take lightly, it is also important to put things in perspective.
Here are some questions to ask before going any further:
1. How certain are you that yaya does feel this way about your husband?
2. Are you overreacting? What gave you the impression that she does have a crush on him?
3. Does she act differently when your husband is around?
4. Is there any other way, such as speaking to a third party, that can validate your suspicions?
5. In an extreme case, are you willing let your yaya go? Will you have a ready replacement or would you need more time orchestrate a proper transition?
6. Looking up at or admiring someone is not necessarily a bad thing, yet it is important to make sure that such admiration is one that is both harmless and not a hindrance in any way to your yaya performing her duties.
Once you have ascertained the “seriousness” of the matter it will be time to decide on certain things…
• Regardless of how serious yaya’s crush is, if her actions or perceived intentions make you uncomfortable in anyway, it is vital that you speak to yaya regarding the matter. Other people may not agree with this advice, however, should you decide to let her go — she must be made generally aware as to the reasons for her termination. Should she vehemently and sincerely deny any such attraction towards your husband, perhaps this would be a good opportunity to give her a chance to prove herself. After all, being too close to the situation can indeed warp our judgment.
• Should you decide that your initial assumption was unfounded, it is important to put things behind you and move forward with a perspective free from all prior biases. After all, perhaps you were indeed over-reacting.
• Should you decide that yaya’s attraction to your husband is something real and potentially destructive, then it is important to already exercise all means to find her replacement. Being tasked with taking care of your precious child does not leave any room for distractions especially with thoughts of your husband.
As you can see, there is no easy way around this situation. However, the key to possibly solving it is simple “Honesty”. You must be honest about the way you feel about the situation just as yaya must be honest as to her intentions. Either way, as they say — “the truth will set you free.”